How do I talk to my little ones?
New moms and dads are given the advice to “narrate their day” to their infant. It’s written in pediatrician’s offices, online, and pretty much in every parenting guide. The issue with this advice is that it is usually given as a stand alone suggestion with ZERO CONTEXT. Most people read that advice and think, “okay, so I am supposed to talk to my baby about everything I am doing while they are awake.” Not only is that overwhelming for you as the parent, but it’s overwhelming for the baby, too.
Yes, narrate your day, but don’t word vomit! Here are a few examples of what I don’t recommend and what I do recommend when “narrating your day:”
Instead of: “Ok Charlie, let’s go change your diaper. First we are going to walk up the stairs one by one and go into your room. Now, I’m going to lay you down on the changing mat and undo your onesie. And now, I’m going to grab some wipes and cover you so you don’t pee on me! Ok time to wrap up your dirty diaper, throw it in the trash, and put your clothes back on!”
Try: “Stinky stinky! Diaper change time!…….This is way we change your diaper, change your diaper, change your diaperrrrr…..Ok, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 all done!”
Instead of: “Let’s read this book about cars! Beep beep!! The car is driving on the road- this is the road. They go vroom vroom, so fast!”
Try: “Wow, cars!……. Beeeeeeeeep!……..Drive the car!……..Look out, beep beep!!……”
Do you see the difference? The first examples are not in any way BAD, they are just a bit overwhelming for baby! Where the second examples are simple and easy to digest with time built in to respond.
Remember these main tips:
Pausing between SHORT phrases allows baby to process information, and even respond back through cooing, babbling, gesturing, and eventually talking!
Repeating the same words throughout the play routine, book, or exchange helps baby learn that word. The more they hear it, the more likely they are to eventually imitate it and use it!
Only talk 50% of the time when you are playing with baby! This allows baby time to respond the other 50% of the time. Remember that even conversations with infants have back-and-forth. Try not to go on a monologue when talking to baby- give them time to participate too.
Silence can be GOOD for baby. Remember that their little minds take a long time to process things! Silence helps them process, learn, and apply what they know. We have to be quiet to allow baby time to do this.
As along as you are engaging with your little one, you are doing a good job. There is no set amount of time that you need to talk to baby- it’s not so black and white. When they are awake, if you are there to play with them and interact with them, you are doing what you need to do to help them learn!
Share this with family, friends, or caregivers to encourage them to “talk less” and to remind them that they are doing a great job!
